A Tribute to the Men of Maple Corner
Lew D’Array
December 2001
It all began with a community cause
But the project resulting has given us pause
And caused a few problems for Santa Claus.
“Where’s Maple Corner?” he queried his elves
“And who are these guys displaying themselves?
What is the attraction
Local studs shown in action
Radiating satisfaction
But driving me to great distraction!
“I know about wagons, and skates, and sleds
I know about dolls with curly blond heads
I’ve delivered some millions of teddy bears
And gone down some chimneys where no one else dares.
“Tinkertoys and puzzles and parlor games,
And puppies and kittens who need new names,
Even computers and new technology,
And Harry Potter’s most current mythology.
“You cannot imagine what’s been in my bag –-
But pictures of fellas whose bellies might sag?
A new one each month throughout the year
And this is supposed to generate cheer?
“Well, I guess what you want is what you should buy
If this is your thing, just give it a try,
I’m not into pictures of a near-naked guy;
That’s not what makes my reindeer fly!
But, anyway, Santa notwithstanding
Vermont ladies have the understanding:
The calendar’s a source of inspiration
That maybe applies throughout the nation.
Just muscle and sweat, no cute nose rings,
For these guys are depicted doing guy things:
Fishing and building and carrying wood,
Fun and chores and doing good.
A word of caution to my fellow guys:
If this calendar’s something your lady buys,
Think about what is turning her on --
It ain’t just the “bods” for these are kinda gone.
Your really don’t have to be a hunk,
That sort of thinking is really bunk;
But maybe there’s something about fun and hard work
That keeps us from turning into a jerk.
There’s something about a good sense of humor --
And this a truth and not just a rumor --
If you really want to be a man
All you gotta do is the best that you can!