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Songs of the Fully Clothed Men
by Amdrew Nemethy

Sung by Sour Grapes and Wrath

Wagnerian dirge -

Oh Maple Corner, sullied is thy name
Oh Maple Corner, endless is thy shame
Where is decency and morality?
Blindfolded evermore must thy children be
Oh Maple Corner, the devilšs work is done
Oh Maple Corner, thy innocence is gone

BROADWAY Style patter -

I could have been on Letterman
I could have been on Leno
wešre a lot more handsome, than any of those guys we know
We could have been in people, together with Brittany Spears
Or sitting next to Regis, the envy of our peers
All things considered, we could have been on NPR,
Maybe Imus in the Morning, the newest media star
A celebrity with Terry Gross, speaking on Fresh Air
Wešd be bigger than Survivor - it simply isntš fair!

Bouncy refrain -

Why did they chose those men?, Wešre perfectly buffed as them
My pecs are second to none, My wife says Išve got great buns
And when it comes to being lovers, getting underneath the covers,
well you know what we mean, wešre Steve McQueen and Arnold Swarzenegger

Oh why did they chose those guys, naked they hurt the eyes
why are the women aswoon, when Don Heise flashes the moon
And Stanley, hešs in his 70s, well hešs in underwear anyways
How dare they bare, such white flesh to air
We should have been asked instead of them!!

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